...so i touched it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
