we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
