mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize