i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
