Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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