woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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