You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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