How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
