rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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