I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
NoShamevember. You game?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
