Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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