honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
pray to the hookup gods
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize