I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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