I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
