I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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