you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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