I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
