Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
