So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
