I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Randomize
