My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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