I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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