I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize