Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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