What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize