some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
