if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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