singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
