Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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