It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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