He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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