at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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