yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
