I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
