well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
