No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
