You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
