There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
