did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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