just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
