So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
