i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
