I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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