Sponge bath it is.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
