its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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