Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
