It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you still have your period?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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