i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
