Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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