in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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