worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Two words: nipple clamps
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