it wasn't lemon gatorade
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you will always have a special place in my vag
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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