I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize