Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
