dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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